A common issue that plagues newly married couples who are in the age range of «twenties or thirties» typically revolves around shifting the mind-set from one who’s a bachelor. This is due to their pre-marriage lifestyle, which is living alone. Adults of this age range have probably advanced pretty well in terms of career, and have already developed an independent personality prior to marriage.
What should know for newly married couple?
Speaking from my experience, the difference between the personalities of the two genders causes this problem to arise. What women want from their men after marriage is to have less if not zero alcohol, stay indoors as much as possible, and not mixing around with his bachelor friends. Men are known to be reluctant to comply as they do not want to forego the freedom that they previously own.
Know this – life after marriage completely differs from what you were going through before you got married.
Many newly married couples face difficulty understanding this fact. Marriage is an oath involving two individuals. It’s naïve to even think you it’s alright to behave the same way as you previously did.
Decisions – Who Makes The Call?
Many young people are decisive, particularly when we’re talking about young professionals. Previously, there isn’t any need for them to ask for opinions of others when they did planning for their holidays, buying something luxurious, real estate investments, or other equivalent decisions. Now that they’re married, it is not easy to come to an agreement with their partners when it comes to making such decisions. Each of them has their own professionalism, and may have differing opinions on one issue.
Things get even worse when decisions are made without the consent of the other person, particularly on decisions that matter that person.
Such decisions include planning a house warming without informing the other person, telling other people about their sensitive romantic experiences, acquiring something using the funds of a joint account, organizing private vacations with bachelor friends, using house money for business ventures, and many more.
It’s crucial to first think about how the other person would react following the decisions that you’ve made on his/her behalf. In fact, as long as the decision affects your life partner, you should’ve discussed the issue with him/her prior to making a decision. It is not that you’re not entitled to make a say for your life partner, but I believe that anyone loves to be respected if a decision is made on something that requires another person’s involvement.
Career vs. Marriage
Once a couple got married; they need to reconsider their priority in life. This issue becomes more prevalent when this couple bore a child. Each person’s time will need to be allocated appropriately. In some cases, one’s career dreams have to be compromised for something even more important. If both parties are highly career minded, then both of them will have to sit down and have a serious discussion on a way to raise a healthy child.
In many cases, couples will come to a decision that one of them will pursue his/her career, while the other completely stop working and concentrate in managing the family, particularly when the child is still at its infancy. Always remember, this is not necessarily the outcome for your case.
The important take away here is that couples should talk and plan this out together, and stick to the plan.
While many couples enjoy their post marriage life, there are a handful of them that struggle to achieve that. The reason being both parties have different priorities and standards in life that is not clearly seen when both of them were dating. In that case, the way out is to maintain a personal zone for each person, as long as the advantage is not overboard. This doesn’t equal lack of communication. This is a sign of mutual respect between the newly married couples, which if seen from another angle, would strengthen their marriage relationship even further.